Last Day in Belize (non traveling)

Well, it's my last day before exiting Belize for Costa Rica and Panama with my brothers!!!
I guess I'll start with describing my last couple days, then move to some observations, and maybe if I feel like it some general where I'm at mentally/what I'm feeling thus far.

So, I left the coast so that I could see some Mayan ruins before I  left. There are some amazing tours out of San Ignacio. I mentioned ATM, but there are more, like Caracol or Xunantunich (there's also cave tubing and some other cool shit). Actun Tunichil Muknal was pretty badass. You hike an hour into the jungle where you come across all sorts of cool plants that they talk about and animals. Our guide was on lookout for pit vipers the whole walk, but still managed to show us cool shit. I didn't know that leaf cutter ants created their own "road system", which are pretty neat. They push all the debris out like a plow does in the winter, and it's quite visible - I thought it was someone dragging a log along. Lots of lizards. Saw a giant mother fucking spider in the cave as well as bats (one almost hit me in the face). Anyway, the tour goes into a cave, where you must swim or wade, free climb, and other general spelunking things about a 1/2 mile into this cave. There are sweet stalagmite/tite formations. Then you get to an area where there were a bunch of rituals, including sacrifices, and the bones are still there. The guide goes over what he believes was going on there, then back out. I recommend this tour.
I kinda had my heart set on Caracol, but nobody else was signed up - one of the downsides to traveling alone. I was determined to see some Mayan Ruins and wasn't willing to cross the border to Guatemala, and they didn't have the $10 US on hand to refund my deposit, so I went with a horseback ride up to Xunantunich. It was pretty chill and the horse was well behaved (for the most part - he tripped down a hill, which scared the shit out me. I think both the horse and the Rasta guide were stoned). Anyway, got up there, looked around came back. The ruins were neat. I tried to envision what they look liked in their prime, but it's out of my cognitive ability. Anywho, the only really interesting points other than the ruins were the ferry was a wire hand crank across the river (COOL) and I ate Pibil - a Mayan dish of pig cooked underground (DELISH, and it was paleo for the most part.

To build on some observations from previous posts: Belize
It's hot away from the water. Sleeping, even around the water requires a fan minimum, however, few hotels/hostels offer AC, so you'll have to settle for a fan and no sheets. Everyone speaks English, so if you're afraid of non-English countries, you'll have no problem. Although, they speak with a Creole accent, so that's weird, but understandable - just think like a 3 year old is speaking English and you'll be fine. If you are claustrophobic, don't do the cave tours. Everyone, including the people of Belize, say never go to Belize City. I am getting a ride tomorrow from a local in San Ignacio to the airport. That's 2 hours away, just so that I don't have to stay in Belize City overnight. Everyone that I've met, with the exception of the people trying to sell me drugs and possibly prostitutes, have been quite colorful and really funny. They are all willing to go out of their way to make sure you are cool. They are all nice (outside of Belize City). Those I mentioned as menacing stopped looking so once I wasn't ultra sensitive of everything because of worrying about my backpack.

Lastly, an update on me. Like I mentioned, it's getting easier. I'm still a bit broken up everytime I converse online with Ivy or when I get inspiring comments from my mom. The most recent email my mom sent had me a little choked up. Here's what part of it said that had me:
It is a very brave thing you are doing and I would have the same worries also.  You are going to learn so much that school cannot teach you.  And you will discover so much about yourself.  That is what is the most important.  Most people do not really try to discover this much about themselves.  They do not go that deep.  They may be fine with that.  All the things you were concerned about are the very reasons that stop people from doing this type of travel.  You could discover in way less than a year that you have learned what you wanted to and decide you don't need to go any further.  That is just fine also.
It's comforting and inspiring at the same time. She's right too. Most never go this deep to discovering themselves. It may be fine. But they will always be envious of those who can or have ask those hard questions about themselves. They'll never find out their greatest strengths or weaknesses, including the hidden dormant ones. And this is exactly the reason they need to do it. There is something comforting about routine and keeping yourself busy all the time; the latter being hard for me to adjust to more than anything else thus far. However, it keeps you from really getting anything out of life. I'll share a story in the future from a guy I met who has done several year long trips and came across some rich binge travelers and his thoughts on it. As for me, will I make it a year? I can tell you as of right now, if I make it through South America, yes. I envision that as my greatest challenge, esp. the Amazon.
D