OK, no bears. Just lots of the other stuff. And they harass you a lot. I have been taking it pretty easy around here, just going on walks around the town. Oh, and seeing movies just to get out of the heat - it is hot and humid here. My clothes are constantly covered in sweat, but then so are all the other travelers. Other than that, one thing I have been needing is a massage. In fact, I probably need a few of them and an alignment (not doing that here) because I have knots in my back literally the size of fifty cent pieces and am super tight in the neck. So, I was looking around for a massage place and found one of those "seedy" ones and had the strangest massage ever.
Now, that wasn't my intention. I was window shopping the prices and got suckered in. They are very persuasive. The first few places I checked out had massages for about $20 +, but since they were right next to fancy hotels I figured I could find cheaper. I saw a massage place down an alley (alleys aren't seedy, everything is in alleys here, including my nice hotel) near my place, so I walked in and basically wasn't allowed to leave. The place didn't look seedy - it looked like a normal parlor, it was a place girls could get massages too without being creeped out. The prices were around $7 and they threw in a hot rocks for free. When I was in the lobby, they had a fairly cute girl come in and start flirting/cute whining me because I was waivering. I told them I was just looking around. They offered me a beer, which I turned down. The girl started massaging my bicep. Finally, I figured it would be harder to get out of their than just take the stupid massage.
The part where the girl actually was giving the massage was good and helped a lot. However, during it the girl left the room 3 times to do god knows what. She also answered her phone a few times. Not only that, but I think she may have farted at one point. While, like most people, I am used to being naked for massages, I am also used to not having the massage woman lifting the coverings full off several times; to which made me begin wondering the type of establishment. Nearing the end of the massage, she indicated that it could be upgraded to a full release massage. To be honest, I didn't really think it was that type of establishment when I agreed to it. I declined... several times. One thing they are here is persistent. She wouldn't drop the subject and short of actually accosting me, was using all her charm to that end. I'm pretty sure she was playing up the language barrier to make it uncomfortable to leave. Nor was she giving any indication that she was going to leave the room. After about 10 minutes of this, I finally just got up, butt naked, dressed, and headed out. She accompanied me to the lobby and her and the owner both were trying to keep me around. The owner kept saying that the girl loved me and wanted me to come back everyday (no shit? cause she gets money for it) and the girl was wrapped around my arm again. Anyway, the whole situation wasn't bad (as in, I didn't feel in danger or taken advantage of), just a bit awkward.
My guess is that almost all the parlors with a cute girl and not next to a upscale hotel are happy ending parlors. In any case, it did serve to one purpose. As Tim Ferris suggests, and as I made a new years resolution of, putting yourself into uncomfortable situations (again, not dangerous ones) is one of the best ways to develop confidence and strength in character. I then walked out and immediately proceeded to do it again by having a beer with some trannys. Or at least I am pretty sure that one was a tranny (anyone who has been to SE Asia will admit that they are hard to tell). There appeared to be 3 women of varying ages when I came to grab a beer and they were calling me to sit down with them at the only table. I was planning on sitting on the fringe, but they cleared a seat next the the one that I am pretty sure was a tranny and wouldn't let me sit on the fringe. I didn't notice that the tranny was possibly a tranny till I sat near it. The fact of them being a tranny is a bit weird, but not something that would really bother me. What made me super uncomfortable was that it started hitting on me; aggressively. Within five minutes, it told me that it has a house nearby and wanted to have sex. Then, it even went as far as taking my hand and rubbing it on it's boob thingy. I had already been trying to find a polite way to leave when the Tranny started hitting on me, but at that was the straw. I mean, that straw was probably the size of the sun. Yay! for uncomfortable situations. I guess I'm doing my damnest to make it so fewer and fewer situations can take the piss out of me. Do you think a job interview is going to make me nervous now? I can always say, well this isn't as uncomfortable as that time where a tranny made me feel it's boob thing.
It's been really fun, entertaining, tasty, weird, and all in Ho Chi Minh. I visited a pagoda the other day; I made a local friend from a restaurant; I ate what the Vietnamese believe is guacamole; I drank with a group of people that I still don't know how they met each other (one was 17?); and I just tried to stay out of the heat.
So, moving on... I left for Hoi An on Wednesday. After the hotel tried to tell me there'd be no buses out cause of the holiday ending, I easily found 5 bus agencies with room. Hmmm.
TIPS
- If you get a night bus from any agency in the tourist district, they are basically the same with some some exceptions like bathrooms going out more often or something. What is different is the price. Mine was the cheapest by about $5, which is a lot of money here.
- Don't take night buses unless you are around or under five feet. At first you go, yeah these buses are nice; the seats fold down almost flat, it's clean, you get blankets and a bottle of water. Great! Then, it becomes apparent that they obviously weren't made for normal sized people. I'm not tall. I am ever so slightly above average height. To have ample room because they go almost flat, you have to have a cubby area for the lower half of your leg and feet. I have size 43 (or ten in US sizes) feet and by no means could I come close to having my feet straight up. In other words, either I lay on my back and have duck feet, or I lay on my side. Can't lay on your side by the way - your knees don't have room to bend. Nor can you sit, lay, or find a way to have your feet out of the cubby and be comfortable. Did I mention the floor of the cubby is metal, so the pressure starts to hurt your heels after a few minutes.
- Luckily, there was a spot open at the back in the aisle. There are 4 aisle beds (2 floors on the buses). If you must take a night bus, get one of these beds. It will still suck because you'll be crammed up against somebody else since they fill the end of the aisle with a bed (no space between beds), but at least you'll be a bit more comfortable. what I intend on doing from now on is to take the normal buses overnight. The "normal" buses are more like the Bolivian buses; as in, they don't have a bathroom (the bus stops every two hours or so), but the seats are comfortable and recline just enough to sleep. I'll let you know how that goes.
The buses are "open beses". This meaning that they don't have direct service. I don't know if it costs less to buy a ticket that goes to your final destination or not, but you will have layovers along the way. They all do this. I had 12 hours in Nha Trang. As far as I could tell, there isn't much there for me except diving. And maybe a nice beach. But I booked through to Hoi An, but the dive schedule conflicted so I couldn't go. Then another night bus. At least I made some friends from Spain to chat with for a few hours. Not in Spanish though because they never asked and I feel like I forgot most of it again. Snooze ya lose.
Hoi An is pretty interesting. At first glimpse, it is about eight square blocks (and alleys) of shopping. I spent the morning recouping from the bus and ventured out. First, coffee. Next, venture the local market on the way to look at a massive fishing net in the river that the market goes along. I started getting inspired to write so I made for the hotel, but got side tracked. Now, after putting down a deposit and hopefully not getting fucked like in Bolivia, I will have a pair of tailor made dress shoes, jeans, and shirt for $80. I needed the jeans cause my pair are wearing out/ falling apart, and the shoes I plan on sending home. I am considering tailor making some flops, which I can't imagine being more than $15.
Anywho, I think I'll spend a few days here to find out if there is more to this place. It hints at something deeper beneath the surface. There are tours, but they don't inspire me. Just want to absorb a little bit. Next stop will be Hue on the way to Hanoi and Ha Long bay.
D
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